C: Chilling at Blackpool

B: Being a Bitch

I’d rather be a bitch than boring, but never that kind of bitch who puts down people whom she knows nothing about. Truth is that sometimes you just have to be a bitch to get things done and I could never let anyone walk all over me. In the other hand there is no drama queen living inside of me, so peace, bitches. 

A: Alcohol

A: Alcohol

Alcohol gives me infinite patience for stupidity and that’s why we decided to be friends. Sometimes alcohol is a backstabbing bitch who whispers bad ideas to your ear and makes you part of those stories you wouldn’t tell to your kids. Or dad. Or anyone. But then again, sometimes those stories are the best ones. Alcohol definitely has a bipolar disorder, and to survive from those nights when instead of making you fun, flirty and the best dancer you end up taking a your clothes off in public, kissing the ugliest motherfucker in sight or waking up from a wrong bed, it’s good to come up with some kind of alter ego to take the fall. I always blame Henniina. She’s a total idiot when she’s drunk.

To make you feel better, I’m going to tell you some things my friends did after a few too many drinks. One had sex with his best friends mother. One threw up in to a glass in a bar and drank it. One took his pants off in front of a really pretty girl and asked if she would like to have some. One asked me if he could sleep on my couch and started sleep walking in the middle of the night. He weed to our apartment buildings staircase, ringed my neighbors doorbell and took all of my paintings off the walls. And I had a lot of paintings. When he woke up with a hangover next morning, first thing he asked was “Why are all those paintings at the table?” Yeah, this actually happened.

Fangirling

One thing I really don't understand is "fangirling", People who basically live to be a fan of something. Beliebers or Directioners for example, when the fangroup starts threatening people who think differently and they tweet or share everything that's even remotely connected to the band or artist and their everyday life gets just harder because they have dedicated every second for being a fangirl then things have in my opinion gone too far. For example a little while back there was this Justin Bieber incident when British teenage girl got retweeted by Justin Bieber and started getting death threats. You can read more about that here. I'm not saying being a fan of something is a bad thing, I'm impressed how much time and effort these girls and even boys put in to being a fan of something. But hasn't this gone too far?!

There are many artists, actors and even youtubers that I find inspiring and I admire how talented they are, but I guess there just doesn't live a fangirl inside of me who would go crazy about something. So you won't ever hear me say I understand fangirling and why someone becomes one and that's why I'm not the one to judge. But if you have a daughter, son or a friend whose normal everyday life is disturbed by this phenomenon I would success that you have a talk with them. I think every celebrity loves their fans and wants to have fans, but I also think that they want all the best for those people who support them. Losing your mind over someone and forgetting your own dreams (Expect marrying Zayn Malik ofcourse....) is not the best life you can have. Being a fan in a right not crazy way is great, without supporters there wouldn't be a career for those talented people, but there's also a line that you shouldn't cross. Just for your own good.  

Rakkaudella, 
Henniina.

My Favorite Movie Classics

Willie Nelson, Nirvana, Guns'N'Roses. Finnish great artists like Irwin Goodman or Rauli Badding Somerjoki. Today was one of those days when all I want is to have Johnny Cash to rip my heart out and send it to the 80's. Just for few days and then I could come back to the world where I can also love Mac Miller, Calvin Harris and HD-movies. 

I wanted to make a post about my favorite old movies. With my awesome (...) photo editing skills I made these quote pictures truthfully just because I'm too lazy to write today. Anyway, here are my favorite old movies.

Alice in the Wonderland (1951)

Romeo and Juliet (1996)

Rebel Without A Cause (1955) 

Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961) 

Edward Scissorhands (1990) 

The Godfather (1972)

The Little Mermaid (1989)

Peter Pan (1953)

Pulp Fiction (1994)

Rocky (1976) 

The Way We Were (1973)

Cry Baby (1990)

Rakkaudella, 

Henniina. 

"What are men compared to rocks and mountains?"

Wales. 

There are no words to describe the beauty of this place. Trying would be just stupidity. Maybe someone wiser and older has already succeeded, but I'm not in a mood to fail. All I can say is that when we were standing up on that mountain and my brother-in-law told me that many people had taken their own lives there, I understood those people. It would be so poetic to die in such a peaceful and magical place. There's no reason I would ever take my own life, but seeing that view as my last sight of this world.. That would make me rest in peace. To die would be an awfully big adventure, as Peter Pan said.

Rakkaudella,
Henniina.

The History Of Love.

“Once upon a time, there was a boy. He lived in a village that no longer exists, in a house that no longer exists, on the edge of a field that no longer exists, where everything was discovered, and everything was possible. A stick could be a sword, a pebble could be a diamond, a tree, a castle. Once upon a time, there was a boy who lived in a house across the field, from a girl who no longer exists. They made up a thousand games. She was queen and he was king. In the autumn light her hair shone like a crown. They collected the world in small handfuls, and when the sky grew dark, and they parted with leaves in their hair.

Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.” 
― Nicole Krauss, The History of Love

I hate it when my feelings are not in my control. It makes me feel lost, less independent and unforgivably weak. What an unexpected surprise it was when you first walked in to the room and smiled at me. I smiled back at you like I always do, but this time there was something different. I found myself looking at you twice, but not really knowing what that meant and not thinking about you after you left the room again. After some time there was a situation that made us talk. And then I knew what I saw in you. Life. You're like this shining pearl that I want to hide from the rest of the world. Cause your mind is the most beautiful book I've ever heard of. It's a secret that I can't find out. I just get quotes from here and there and fall in love with every single one of them. 
When someone has as beautiful soul, fire for life, a little bit of craziness and a right way to make laugh, he's made to be my friend. Cause you don't find pearls from every street corner. They are well hidden in places where you'd never think to search. And when you find one, you will know. 
Rakkaudella, 
Henniina.  

Ted

Good morning world!

Tää aamu on ihana. En etes tiiä että minkä takia. Hostellissa ei toimi lämmin vesi tai lämmitys ollenkaan joten viimeset kaks yötä on ollu ihan jäätäviä ja tänä aamuna en ees uskaltanu mennä suihkuun ku traumatisoiduin siitä niin vahvasti eilen. Tuntu et aivot jäätyy. Sairasta. Mut menin niin hyvillä fiiliksillä nukkuun, että heräsin ihan samalla tavalla.

En tiiä voiko mistään muualta löytää sellasta fiilistä ku tästä hostellista, ihmiset on niin järjettömän ihania. Ja saa mut nauraan vaikka oisin kuinka jäässä ja väsyny. Oon jopa löytäny yhden ihmisen jolle voin puhua ihan kaikesta. Sellasista asioista jotka ärsyttää tai suututtaa mua tai mitä mieltä oon jostain ihmisestä. Sellasen ihmisen joka puolustaa mua ja on aidosti mulle ystävä. Ene on ihana. 

Täällä tapahtuu niin paljon kaikkee sellasta josta kirjottaminen on liian vaikeeta. Kaikkia niin pieniä juttuja jotka tekee tästä kokemuksesta niin ainutlaatusen. Oon ollu täällä nyt viis päivää. Joka päivä oon tavannu ainaki yhen uuden ihmisen josta tykkään ihan järjettömän paljon. Eilen istuttiin keittiössä joskus vähä ennen puolta yötä ja kuunneltiin ku Fabrizio ja joku vanhempi espanjalainen mies soitti kitaraa. Ihanin kaikista oli Eric Claptonin Tears In Heaven. Ja ku se soi mä mietin miten onnellinen oon kaikesta siitä mitä täällä tapahtuu just nyt. Miten onnekas oon ku oon saanu nää ihmiset mun ympärille. Tai vaikka just äsken ku kirjotin tätä niin Fausto, joka oli eka ihminen jonka tapasin täällä tuli sanoon heippa kun se lähti tänään. Se anto mulle kaks suklaaleivosta läksiäislahjaksi. Lämmin vesi ei oo mitään verrattuna siihen. 

Ene & Massimiliano, jossain local pubissa. 

Aikaa

Nää kaks ekaa päivää on ollu ihan hulluja. Pelottavia. Hauskoja. Kamalia. Kaikkee sitä yhtäaikaa. Välillä on hetkiä ku haluisin vaan varata seuraavan lennon kotiin. Nukkua vuoden. Mut en tiiä onko mulla enää etes kotia. Ja se on se pelottava kohta. Kamala kohta. Se on se kohta joka on saanu mut purskahtaan itkuun ihan hulluissa paikoissa. Junassa. Kaupan kassalla. Joka kerta ku mietin sitä. Ja vielä pahempaa on se, että pääsin just vasta ekan kerran koneelle ja kaikki on varmasti ollu enemmän ku huolissaan.

Oon hostel nro. 8:ssa Willesden greenissä. Tää alue ei oo mitään maailman kauneinta mut ihmiset täällä on tosi ihania. (Musta tuntuu, että tässä naapurustossa ei oo yhtään brittiä!) Se, että jo ekana päivänä ku tulee löytää ihmisiä joille voi jutella ja joiden kanssa voi viettää aikaa on ihanaa. En tunne oloani niin yksinäiseksi ku voisin. Täällä on niin monia tyyppejä jotka saa mut nauramaan ja auttaa mua ku tarviin sitä. Useimmat on italialaisia tai espanjalaisia, mut oon tavannu myös pari ranskalaista ja kanadalaisen ala-asteen opettajan. Tää on jännittävää ja ihanaa. Ja sit taas kamalaa. Mutta se kamala puoli ei johdu mitenkään tästä paikasta tai siitä mitä nyt tapahtuu. Vaan siitä kaikesta mitä jätin taakse. Mutta ehkä ajan kanssa. Ja sitä mä just tarvin. Aikaa.

Wrexham familylife

Of course I get sick on my first week in UK. Luckily I'm still at my sisters place in Wrexham. Hallucinating about apple trees beside my bed and murderers walking around the house would be kinda awful at a hostel. Though I can't say it's fun here either.

Past week I've spent in Wales, town called Wrexham. Suburb area Plas Madoc. I love it here, when you walk out the door you see the mountains and it's a lot more warmer than in Finland this time of year. My sister came here first time two years ago to work in a hotel with her best friend. (They worked in town called Llangollen near here, it's the most beautiful little town I've ever seen, like straight from a storybook.) Soon she found a boyfriend, got engaged and had a baby. One month ago she had another one. My sister is an amazing mom and her two girls are adorable. This post is just pictures pictures and more pictures of Plas Madoc and the girls. We've had a lovely familyweek.

Plas Madoc. 

Pretty little girls  

 Amelia Irene Jessica

Emma Sofia Charlotte

Rakkaudella,
Henniina.

Goodbyes

Helsinki-Vantaa airport and six hours to kill. And I really don't mind. I'm smiling to everyone who walks past my table. Nothing could ruin this day. Actually I feel like walking up to a stranger and asking if he'd like to get wasted with me. But maybe it's better to just stay sober.

I have been trying to get to that sad goodbye-mood all morning. But I can't. I had that few days ago, now I'm just feeling so free. And happy. I'm leaving today. And I really tried to get to the mood to write a heartbreaking goodbye-letter to everyone I love. But there are no sad words inside me right now. So I'm glad to post you the one I wrote last Saturday.

23.2.2013

"I always thought leaving is easy. And it is for me. But this time it broke my heart a little bit. When I hugged my best friend for the last time I didn't want to let go. She’s the single best thing in my life. No-one else can say they truly know who I am, because I have built such walls around me. I know I can handle anything on my own, I’ll be fine anywhere. I’ll find a way to be ok. Be happy. But when she’s around it’s just so much easier.

I love you dad. I love you mom. I love my friends. I love my whole family. But I’m leaving today, and I’m not looking back. I’m on a pursuit of happiness. And if you can’t understand that, you were one of those who didn't know me at all. This is me. Half the time I don’t even know what the fuck I’m doing. But I don’t need it to be easy, I just want it to be worth it. I don’t want my life to be a dictionary. I want it to be the most beautiful and colorful poem out there.

 So let me go. Just let me go. " 

:) Listen this

Rakkaudella, 

Henniina.