Goodbyes

Helsinki-Vantaa airport and six hours to kill. And I really don't mind. I'm smiling to everyone who walks past my table. Nothing could ruin this day. Actually I feel like walking up to a stranger and asking if he'd like to get wasted with me. But maybe it's better to just stay sober.

I have been trying to get to that sad goodbye-mood all morning. But I can't. I had that few days ago, now I'm just feeling so free. And happy. I'm leaving today. And I really tried to get to the mood to write a heartbreaking goodbye-letter to everyone I love. But there are no sad words inside me right now. So I'm glad to post you the one I wrote last Saturday.

23.2.2013

"I always thought leaving is easy. And it is for me. But this time it broke my heart a little bit. When I hugged my best friend for the last time I didn't want to let go. She’s the single best thing in my life. No-one else can say they truly know who I am, because I have built such walls around me. I know I can handle anything on my own, I’ll be fine anywhere. I’ll find a way to be ok. Be happy. But when she’s around it’s just so much easier.

I love you dad. I love you mom. I love my friends. I love my whole family. But I’m leaving today, and I’m not looking back. I’m on a pursuit of happiness. And if you can’t understand that, you were one of those who didn't know me at all. This is me. Half the time I don’t even know what the fuck I’m doing. But I don’t need it to be easy, I just want it to be worth it. I don’t want my life to be a dictionary. I want it to be the most beautiful and colorful poem out there.

 So let me go. Just let me go. " 

:) Listen this

Rakkaudella, 

Henniina.